One of the best, if not THE BEST thing about being in my 40's is the fact that I know my own heart.
I know, with great certainty that I choose chocolate over vanilla, red over grey, Clooney over Pitt, Bennett over Sinatra. Given the choice I would spend a night in with a few friends over a night out in a crowd. I have no trouble choosing toothpaste and toilet paper. I've lived. I've tried. My heart, my taste buds, my ears, eyes and bum--we know what we like.
But, in recent days, with the Supreme Court in hearings regarding the DOMA and so many of my Facebook friends coming out on one side or the other of this Red Equality Sign: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I've been feeling a bit....I don't know,..unsettled, I guess. Suddenly, my 40-something heart and aren't feeling so sure of ourselves.
I have a gay friend, whom I adore, no, not adore, ADORE! The day we met he said something so funny I choked on the soda from which I had just taken a sip and for over twenty years he has continued to make me laugh so hard the soda still literally and figuratively shoots out of my nostrils. He is the devastatingly handsome West Coast "Just Jack" to my East Coast, only slightly less chemically imbalanced, Karen. I have not seen him in decades, but through Facebook, we tease and "cheese" often enough that I feel I can confidently count him among my dearest of friends. I hope all of you, my Readers Dear, have at least one friend like that. Through the years and across the miles he continues to nestle in the little nook of my heart where he has always been. I wouldn't have it any other way.
But, I'm a Christian, hence my discomfiture.
While so many of my brethren roar their terrible roars and gnash their terrible teeth, I hang back. (Props to Mr. Sendak, who was also homosexual) I have never liked crowds and am in no hurry to stand in line to be among the first to cast stones at people who have not done me or mine any harm. As I've said before, stones hurt. But, I wonder, what is my place here in this debate? Which side of the Equal sign am I supposed to stand on?
For who among us, heterosexual or otherwise, can say we are without sin? Haven't we all, in our dating or marital histories made questionable choices? I know I have. Bad boyfriends? Premarital sex? The guy my mother didn't like? 50 Shades of Grey? Clooney lust? Check, check, check, check and check.
I mull this debate over and as it so often does in my walk, the cliched "WWJD?" comes to mind. Well, what would He do?
The answer can be found in what He did do. He loved us --with all His heart, all His soul and all His strength. ALL of us. And so, that, that love, is what we, as His beloved are in turn charged with. This love, His love, is kind, it does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking. It does not delight in evil. It protects and trusts. It hopes and perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Is homosexuality a sin? Will it be the downfall of our society? Will my gay friends burn in hell? I don't know that it's for me to say. I am not charged with judging the choices of others. I am only charged to love them.
Love never fails. Love is not mine to judge. I know my heart and I are sure of that.